Praise and lament: a faith story

When 67-year-old rock start Wilko Johnson, former guitarist with Dr Feelgood was told in 2013 he’d pancreatic cancer and had just ten months to live, it transformed his thinking. The musician, who had always been prone to depression, spoke recently of his deeper appreciation of life in the light of the diagnosis. ‘You start to realise the things that really matter, your family and fundamental things.’

In time, the medics discovered his cancer was treatable, and Johnson survived. But once the prospect of death again receded into the impenetrable future, curiously the depression returned.

Another story, this time told by the preacher at church speaking about a psalm (prayer-poem) from the Bible with the theme ‘Praise the Lord!’ He spoke about watching a live recording of a comedy show, during which the floor manager silently displayed signs to the audience prompting their reactions: ‘Laughter’; ‘Applause’.

His point was that the phrase ‘Praise the Lord!’ in the psalm had the force of a command. ‘You will praise the Lord.’

I thought, OK, it’s good to praise God, recognising God’s greatness, wonder, generosity to us. But sometimes Christians come across as dictating how we should be feeling and reacting, as though Jesus were a Dr Feelgood. ‘You will rejoice. You will put your anxiety behind you. You will be full of hope.’ 

This could make me feel a failure as a Christian if I were sad and worrying and struggling:  as if Dr Feelgood was ignoring me, or his healing touch insufficient for the depths of my need.

The following Sunday’s sermon was on another Bible prayer-poem (Psalm 69). The writer pours out his sorrow to God. ‘I am worn out calling for help.’ It’s a sentiment with which many of us will be familiar. And it’s a challenge to us to make a bonfire of those ‘You will be…..’ prompt boards, and make church a safe place where people can express to friends and to God exactly what’s on their hearts.

But what about that call to ‘praise’ God in the previous week’s Psalm? Surely it’s hypocritical to praise God when we feel desolate and abandoned?

The preacher, lay reader Iain Todd told a compelling story of his own time in a dark place. In March 2014 he was taken ill after performing at an Eden Court charity event. Rushed to hospital, he was diagnosed with ‘a perfect storm of heart symptoms.’ Over the next few days he came close to death, and was revived by CPR. Eventually, Iain was put in an induced coma and had a pacemaker fitted. His slow recovery began.

Iain described the sense of peace and God’s presence which he and Fiona his wife felt during the days of crisis. One morning, desperately weak, he called out for help and as he waited for staff to come the words ‘Be still and know that I am God’ sat down in his mind’s front room.

A couple of weeks later, after he was back home the Bible reference Romans 8:18 came forcefully to mind. Neither he, nor Fiona knew what that verse said, but when they read it they saw words about viewing suffering in the context of God’s great plan for the future. These words came to Iain forcefully as words for him that day.

And at a check-up 12 weeks after his operation, doctors found that where there had been massive damage to his heart, now only minor heart wounds remained – a clear sign Iain believes, of divine intervention.  He gives huge thanks to Professor Leslie and his team in Cardiology at Raigmore Hospital for all their help.

The experience has shown Iain what is really important in life, and helped him order his priorities. ‘God is alive and working,’ he says ‘God answers prayer, though not necessarily in the way we expect.’

Iain was able in the pain and darkness to recognise God’s presence, to thank God and even to praise God. Our experiences are all different, but the God who was with Iain in his sorrow is with us in our sorrows.

God speaks to all of us at the times when our life is threatened and vulnerable. I believe God awakened Wilko Johnson to the preciousness and priorities of life following his diagnosis. In Iain’s case the journey he travelled with God in that hospital bed has changed him for ever.

The only prompt board God holds up reads encouragingly ‘Be real!’ It’s good to praise. But it’s vital to be real with God in our times of helplessness and sorrow, and on those desperate days when though we feel utterly abandoned by God our faith nevertheless edges Godwards.

And paradoxically we often find that the more real we are with God, the more real God becomes to us and that from our place of pain, despite ourselves almost, the words of praise well up in our hearts.

(Christian Viewpoint column from the Highland News dated 25th June 2015)